Mamoru in Hollywood
by Alex Amsel
Summary: What happens when Mamoru-chan travels to Hollywood... DISASTER...
1. Episode 1 part 1

**Code :*actions***

**_ (Thoughts)_**

_Hello everybody! And welcome to "Mamoru in Hollywood" were our favorite leading lady will get to interact with your favorite stars in her "wolfgirl" outfit! So with nofurther delays..._

`Alex Amsel Is Nuts Productions´ Presents... All the way from my twisted mind, the star of "My First Night in the Akatsuki", "Forbidden Fruit", and "Ran Away from the Garden of Eden", MAMORU HIRASAWA!

_*APPLAUSE*_

Mamoru: Thank you! *blows kiss* You're too kind! So on today's show I'll be interviewing three of your favorite stars, I'll get to play games with them and YOU get to watch! lol... So I'll try to please everyone's tastes in movies and music, but I'm not good at guessing so if you could review and give some suggestions.. I'd be very happy to call and interview you're favorite beautiful people!

Sasuke: I love you, Mamoru!

Mamoru: Ugh.. Who the *beep* let him out of the cage? Sai-chan, Naruto-chan! Lock him up..

*Naruto and Sai walk in and drag Sasuke backstage*

Mamoru: So, Naruto and Sai are the security guys and Sasugay is my crazy stalker, who is supposed to be locked up in the DUNGEON... But no worries, let's start already! Our first guest is veeery popular amongst the gals! (Except Alex-sama and me) He is famous for his "good looks", and songs like "Baby" and "Somebody to Love"...

*fangirl sream*

Mamoru: Oh, yeah girls... Get ready for some sickly sweet *beep*! JUSTIN BEAVER! *adjusts headphone* (whispered: Huh? What's that? Bieber? Oh.. My bad...) Sorry guys... My mistake... JUSTIN BIEBER!

JB: Hi everybody! *girlish smile*

*JB sits on a chair next to Mamoru*

*fangirl scream*

Mamoru: Hellooo, Bieber-san! Welcome to "Mamoru in Hollywood"!

JB: I'm really happy to be here, Mamoru.. *overly girly smile*

Mamoru: You sure smile a lot kid... Which brings me to my first question.. Don't your cheeks ache? I mean, do you get like face cramps, or something like that?

JB: (_Why the hell didn't she swoon? Why didn't she kneel to my smile? Well, whatever it is.. She won't resist this) _Well, I like smiling a lot, I never get tired of it! *smiles and flicks hair gayishly*

Mamoru: Wow, you're hair is soo glossy! Not as glossy as mine or Alex-sama's red mane, but almost! Next question: Do you ever get hair problems, like dandruff or split ends?

JB: *looking nervous* N-never... _(How did she resist the smile/hair flicking combo?)_

Mamoru: Right.. Lets take it as if I believe you... And LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

*Sakura and Ino come in and bring a bowl full of papers and a big box*

Mamoru: So we're playing truth and lies! You get a paper from the bowl, each paper has a question you HAVE to answer... If you tell the truth nothing happens, but if you lie to me then you fall into the pit of despair...

JB: Pit of despair?

Mamoru: Well, as you can see, our audience is divided in two... One side of girls and gays and the other of boys and lesbians... If you lie you fall into the pit of fangirls and if I lie I fall into the pit of fanboys... You, ugly *beep* bring the bowl before I bitchslap you!

*Ino and Sakura put the bowl between Mamoru and JB.. Then Sakura takes two little machines out of the box and connects them to Mamoru and JB.."

JB: What is this?

Mamoru: A lie detector... Your results will appear on the screen to your left.. *screen goes on* And mine will appear on the screen on my right... *screen goes on* Ready?

JB: Ready...

Mamoru: Ok... I'll start, if you don't mind... *takes paper from bowl... unfolds paper* Would you be so kind to read the question, Bieber-san? *hands paper to JB*

JB: Have you ever had s-sex in a car?

Mamoru: Nope, not that I remember...

*screen says...TRUE!*

Mamoru: Ok.. Now you take a paper and I'll read the question...

*JB takes paper and hands it to Mamoru*

Mamoru: Soo... Are you single?

JB: Yes

*screen says...TRUE!*

*fangirl scream*

Mamoru: Right... *takes paper and gives it to JB*

JB: Does *beep* size matter?

Mamoru: Of course not! If they know how to use it...

*screen says...TRUE!*

*JB takes papaer and hands it to Mamoru*

Mamoru: Nice pick, Bieber-san! Are you a virgin?

JB: Y-yes... *nervous giggle*

*screen says... FALSE!* *BEEP!* *BEEP!*

Mamoru: OMG! Bieber-san! I'm so sorry but you're going straight for the pit of despair, where fangirls will rip your *beep* off... *lifts JB with superhuman stength and throws him into the pit of fangirls.. JB dissappears into the fangirls..*

Mamoru: Who would've thought that our beautiful Justin Bieber was not a virgin anymore! Sorry for all the sick fangirls who dreamt of corrupting him... Now lets go to commercials... But soon you'll see my unusual next guest! Until then...


	2. Episode 1 part 2

**Code :*actions***

**_(Thoughts)_**

Mamoru: Hello everybody, and welcome back to "Mamoru in Hollywood".. For those LOSERS who are just joining us, we just finished playing with Justin Bieber, that means for those Bieber fans who just turned on the TV...YOU MISSED IT! I don't think Bieber is coming around here anymore...

*awwwwwww (fangirls)*

Mamoru: So, we just pleased all those braindead people that think Justin Bieber is an artist... Now is time to please all those smart people with GREAT taste in music! Like Alex-sama and me! Give it up for the one and ONLY... MARILYIN MANSON!

*APPLAUSE*

*MM enters the stage creepily and sits next to Mamoru*

Mamoru: Welcome, Manson-sama! Let me just tell you, I'm a huuge fan!

MM: Thank you, thank you...

Mamoru: Soo let's start with a couple of questions and then you and I get to play...

MM: I'm looking foward to it.. *eyes Mamoru*

Mamoru: Soo, I heard that you and Evan broke up... How are you feeling about that?

MM: I'm okay, you know? I'm better without her... She looked terrible in those heart-shaped glasses anyway... Unlike you, babe.. I think you'd look great in these... *takes out heart-shaped glasses from his pocket*

Mamoru: Cool! You know? That's actually my favorite song, I love the video btw.. *puts on glasses* How do I look?

MM: Hot as shit.. They look great on you... You know what? Keep 'em... I'll sign them to you after the show..

Mamoru: Thanks... Okay, one more question... Let's face it Manson-sama, you're not the usual ideal man for most women, but you've dated plenty of beautiful women... How do you do it?

MM: *leans into Mamoru's ear and whispers something to her*

Mamoru: *deep blush* Nice.. I'll have to see for myself after the show...

MM: For you, I'm always free...

Mamoru: So you answered my questions, now let's play a game...

MM: Fine for me..

Mamoru: So, today we're playing twister...

MM: Nice..

Mamoru: Oh, no.. I'm not finished yet.. This is STRIP TWISTER! The rules are simple.. You play like in normal twister, only that when the spinner lands on RED you have to remove an article of clothing... You can only lift one limb at a time and you have to put on the exact spot it was... If you fall, you're out..

MM: So, are we playing, babe?

Mamoru: Us? No... You're playing with my friends! I'll be the spinner! Guys come in please!

*Might Guy and Rock Lee walk in... Dressed in their everyday..SPANDEX! XD Naruto also walks in, dressed in spandex.. Ino and Sakura lay the mat in the middle of the stage*

MM: Shit... This is scary... Even for me..

Mamoru: Yeah... I'm sorry Manson-sama, I'm your fan, but this show is about me messing with the stars... So, it'll be you vs. the spandex team...You ready?

MM: Ready...

Mamoru: GAME START! *Spins the spinny-shit..* Right foot green!

**_So to save all that horseshit writting I'll just skip to the end..._**

*MM is only in his boxers and so is the spandex team... They are tangled and about to fall... Mamoru spins the spinner *

Mamoru: Left hand blue!

*MM's left hand moved easily to a blue spot, since he was closer to it, but the spandex team was so tangled they all fell on the asses...*

Mamoru: And the winner is, Manson-sama!

*MM stands up, and stretched a little...*

Mamoru: Well done, Manson-sama! I'll give you your prize when we finish here... Soo, the spandex team lost! Your punishment is that you're all going to join Sasuke at the dungeon... Sai-chan! Escort them please..

*Sai walks in and takes Naruto, Lee and Guy backstage..*

Mamoru: As for you Manson-sama... I'll just tell you not to put your clothes back on, cause you won't need them where you're going... As for you, our beautiful audience.. I'll have to put you through commercials again... But I'll be right back after I have a nice fu...talk! Yeah, TALK with Manson-sama.. See ya guys!


End file.
